The Big Day

The Story – Bob Wahr

The Story

“Oh that?  Wal, lemme see.  I thank it was th’ spring ‘o 49 when ah got this chere string o’ bob wahr as a soo-vee-near.  Ah was just a-rahdin’ th’ back forty on a regl’r fence check and mahndin’ mah own bidness.  Outta th’ EN-tahr herd, we this one steer that was jus’ plum loco.  Ya jus’ never knew whut this crazy hombre wus gonna do next, so we allus’ kep a lookout fer the beast.  An’ this wus mah near-fatal mistake.  It was a purty, Texas afternoon, with them big clouds that mosey across th’ sky like a conestoga wagon across th’ open prairie an’ ah musta been day-dreamin or sumpin, ‘cuz ah never even heard ‘im comin.  Ah wouldn’t even a knowed whut hit me, ‘cep outta the corner o’ one eye, at th’ very last secont, ah caught a glimpse o’ this hellion flyin’ hell-bent fer leather straight fer me – which wus no mor’n th’ blink o’ an eye afore ‘e hit me an” mah horse like a west-bound freight.  Ah tell ya, it wus sumpin’ awful. It was horns ‘n hooves, teeth, tails, roarin’, thrashin’, fenceposts, bob wahr – an gunfire as ahm shootin’ in ever dahrekshun jus’ hopin’ ta high heaven ah’ll hit sumpin’ that’ll stop thrashin’ at me.

When it all come to a stop, ah was in a heck of a pickle.  Ah found mahself lashed to a broke leg horse  – and a near-dead steer with what seemed lahk a mile ‘o bob wahr an’ 3 fenceposts.  If”n ah didn’t know better I’da swore ah’d been caught up in a monster Texas Twister.

An now ah had me a real dI-lemma.  How to Ex-tract mahself from this mess afore th’ demon regained ‘is strenth ‘n decided to finish th’ job.  Now no self-respectin’ cowpoke is gonna be caught rahdin’ th’ fence without a pair o’ fencin’ plahrs.  An by an amazin’ stroke o’ dumb luck, mahn wus still hooked inta mah belt, right where they wus afore all hell broke loose.  Once Ah got an arm free an’ got mah plahrs in hand, ah started snippin’ mah way out, one side at a time (tryin’ not to cut any strands securing the Demon).  It musta took me th’ better part o’ an hour to cut mahself free, an’ then another 15 minutes just to find a way to pull mahself loose from the heap ah was a integral part of.  Lemme tell you, that was the most painful hour o’ mah life raht thar.

As soon as ah was free, ah found mah canteen an’ cut it loose from th’ horse, reloaded mah six-shooter, dispatched mah horse and made dang sure that crazy beast wasn’t never gonna bushwhack no cowpoke agin – an sat down in th’ shade o’ the dead Demon to take a long drink o’ th’ best tastin’ water ah ever had before or since.

After doc fixed me up some, he got to removin’ th’ bob wahr.  It ain’t ‘xactly easy gittin’ embedded bob wahr outta a fellas’s backside, I kin tell ya.  But this chunk here was so badly twisted and mashed inta place, we both figgered it wus better ta leave it where it was than ta risk haulin’ out mosta mah guts along with it.

An so hep me god, that’s th’ way it happened.