Living (Dealing) With Scoliosis

Psychological Impact of Chronic Pain / Painkillers

I think my daughter, who’s a teacher in her mid-30s and living with a similar spinal condition to mine,  put it best.  She put forth that when you’re dealing with chronic pain, it takes a great deal of mental / emotional power to keep your reactions in check.  When you’re processing daily pain that in most cases never lets up, it takes a lot of concentration.  And unfortunately, any one extra thing that comes along and adds itself to the top of the heap is just that much too much and you lash out at whatever (usually whomever)  caused that extra level of stress.

• Most of the time they did not do it on purpose.
• Most of the time it will be someone you love.
• Most of the time you will hurt them deeply.
• If you do this often enough, you may push them away permanently.
• No matter how much they empathize with your condition, they simply cannot understand what it’s like.  Only those of us who live with chronic pain can actually understand.  Period.

Make no mistake, it’s hard as hell living with chronic pain and the mood-altering effects of painkillers.  It’s miserable and it changes you.  Completely.

Your mate will have a hard time understanding why you are lashing out at them when they are doing everything they know to help you.  When your mate is asking you a simple question or trying to clarify some point of conversation and you snap at them.  Their response may be to withdraw – or leave for awhile – or snap back – or just add this to the long list of things you’ve done to hurt them and continue on.

You know how when you’re processing pain and that one last thing causes you to snap?

Think about your mate living with an unstable substance (nitroglycerin comes to mind) like you.  Someday you will snap at them one time too many and that will be the end of it. Are you willing to risk this?  I’m going to assume it’s a lot to lose or you wouldn’t be with them.

Now we will add another level of instability to the mix.  Most of us in chronic pain are also using significant quantities of painkillers.  Narcotics, as a rule.  We use narcotics  because they are effective at blocking pain.  Unfortunately, there are a lot of physical and emotional side-effects that go along with this regimen.

Remember: Your Mileage May Vary